Toddler groups reach families at a critical stage of their life and therefore enjoy a privileged position in terms of meeting a range of family development needs: social, practical and spiritual, in an informal and non-threatening environment.  

In Spring 2011 the Project Office enjoyed the services of an intern from the University of Notre Dame, Katie Petrik, who was commissioned to explore the rationale of toddler groups from a family ministry perspective, to summarise the opportunities offered by toddler groups to the life and mission of the church and to research the experience of toddler group leaders. The resources on this page are the result of her work. 

The Project Office would like to thank Katie and all those involved in the University of Notre Dame internship scheme, but especially those who supported Katie's internship enquiry: Katja Babei, Joanna Gordon, Alex Lejeune, Caroline Winterburn, Joan Herbert, Fr. Perry, survey respondents, and St. Mark's and Daniel's Den parents and toddlers groups. 

Daniel's Den: www.danielsden.org.uk
St. William of York: www.swoy.org.uk
St. Peter and St. Paul: www.rcdow.org.uk/clerkenwell

Contact (until April 30th): Katie Petrik, Project Office Intern. Email: mfl.temp@cbcew.org.uk

The Toddler Group Experience | 25 Reasons to offer a Parish Toddler Group |  Survey Results | Useful Links | Catholic Toddler Groups on Facebook | Parish Practice Tablet article 15th October 2011 

The Toddler Group Experience

A cacophony of colours and sounds exploded behind the old church door. Toddlers mingled with mums, playdough, dads, trucks, grandparents, and blocks. Two mothers murmured to the side, whilst keeping a careful eye on their young ones. In the natural course of the conversation, the elder advised the other on effective means of entertaining a child while retaining your sanity and reasonable household cleanliness. Meanwhile their children hopped about from craft to game, engaging other children and navigating potential conflicts. With surprising efficiency, the scene transformed into an orderly group of chairs arranged in a semicircle and filled with cheerfully singing toddlers and carers. The group closed in prayer, tummies full of tea and grapes, hearts full of praise.

What were the keys to this toddler group’s success? Vision, structure, and love. They kept their eyes on the goal of creating a welcoming environment for carers and their toddlers, greeting each newcomer by name, and catching up on life news. Though the atmosphere was pleasantly laid back, a definite routine ordered the morning.

Through this simple format, the all too real needs of toddlers and carers are provided for. One new mother’s conversation about losing her normal group of single friends with their late nights out and free afternoons echoed Sue Gerhardt’s description of the isolation of motherhood in Why Love Matters, and mirrored calls for greater parental support collected in the Listening 2004 Report.

To assist in the formation of your own Catholic toddler group, we’ve gathered advice from the experts. Below are a few simple tips that will ease the process:

• Start with core group of parents and toddlers, seeking the assistance of people who’ve worked with children before or who have first aid experience. Remember all volunteers regardless of training have some gift to offer. Rather than forcing roles on people, find out their interests and talents.

• Draw up a plan of action. Detail who will be doing what, your goals, and your vision. Set out on paper how the group will run, and stick to it. 

• Set a time limit on all roles so others aren’t intimidated about joining, and veterans don’t burn out. Distribute work fairly, balancing the difficult roles and taking turns opening and closing.  

• Use existing structures to assist the set up: Go to the priest first; enlist aid of the parish office; request donations from parents, Catholic schools, and local charities; and advertise through your church, doctor, and health groups. 

• Encourage the parish priest to attend, even if just for coffee. This is good for workers’ morale, parish bonding, and the priest’s perceived approachability. Offer him a limited time frame so he won’t feel obligated to stay all morning. 

• Cultivate a warm and welcoming environment, accepting everyone as and where they are. 

• Invite other community members to come give presentations and share their talents. 

• Find a middle way between forcing religion and ignoring it. E.g. provide informational leaflets at the entrance about Lent, sing songs of praise, and read children’s Bible stories.

• Be aware of legal requirements such as background checks and registering with your local authority.

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25 Reasons to offer a Parish Toddler Group....

....Or why Toddler Group’s present a wonderful social, spiritual, economic, and educational opportunity.

1. Toddler groups are demonstrated to nurture children holistically, assist parents and carers, build confident families, and transform communities.

2. They provide a safe and supportive environment for developing tots (and inexpensive child-friendly activities for mums and pops).

3. All the cool kids are doing it (55% of churches offer them and 52% of under 4’s attend). More than Sundays

Help fulfil the Church’s mission

4. The basic sense of trust learned from interaction with caring parents and staff is essential in developing the ability to build positive relationships with others, including God. The model of faith in guardians substantiated enables understanding of a loving God.

5. They may bolster faith in people of all ages. “Human relationships between Christians and their families, friends, and neighbours are the most powerful evangelising force in England and Wales ” (p142, Listening 2004 Report).

6. Toddler groups are a locus of faith development and family ministry.

7. They provide an opportunity to fulfil Archbishop Vincent Nichols’ charge: “Our Church, as you know, is present throughout the country, and Catholic social action takes place quietly and on a much greater scale than many realise.  The present juncture offers a particular opportunity to re-imagine and re-invigorate the work we do.  We have at the heart of our theology a word which beautifully describes this practical expression of Christian love - Caritas.  My hope and prayer for the work we are doing together today and in the coming months is that this idea of Caritas will become more visibly the shared inspiration for Catholic social action in England and Wales.  For it is a common endeavour at the service of those in need, and always to the glory of the One in whose name we are called to that service.”

Address the needs expressed in Listening 2004

8. The church community is begging for a more effective means of passing on the faith: in the Listening 2004 project, families unanimously expressed anxiety over educating the next generation. Individuals from a wide range of perspectives requested more and better catechesis. Toddler groups could facilitate this learning. “We need to support parents as the first educators of their children so that they can become well rounded human beings through, for example, parenting programmes, marriage preparation, parents and toddler groups, Rainbows etc.”

9. A primary realization of the Listening 2004 project was the importance of the church community as a loving, accepting, extended family, and the massive significance to families of welcoming relationships. Small church communities are in a unique position to offer family-like emotional, psychological and spiritual nurturing. Toddler groups are one example of such communities.

10. Demand for supporting marriage, developing relationship skills for couples and parents, and providing further opportunities for adult formation in the faith was consistent throughout the diocesan conversations. Toddler groups have the potential to address many of these needs.

Facilitate early intervention

11. Studies in neuroscience and contemporary psychology confirm the importance of loving relationships in early childhood to later emotional and neurological health. Toddler groups encourage such relationships. Why Love Matters.

12. Unhealthy emotional development in this period  is linked to a higher risk for a number of conditions, including strokes, heart attacks and high blood pressure, and suffering pain, for example from headaches and arthritis. Early Intervention

13. Good parenting is crucial to early development. Support networks, such as that provided by toddler groups, are critical to good parenting.

14. The government corroborates the importance of these early years with the 2010 report The Foundation Years: preventing poor children becoming poor adults, claiming, “Society needs to take service provision from conception to age five as seriously as it does compulsory education.”

15. According to the report, taking notice of these years could forestall many persistent social problems, terminate their transmission from one generation to the next, and allow for long-term savings in public spending.

16. The costs of intervening early are far lower than those required for late intervention programmes. To give only one example, an independent cost–benefit analysis of life skills training estimated it could provide a 25-fold return on its initial, relatively small, investment.

17. Early intervention to promote social and emotional development can significantly improve mental and physical health, educational attainment and employment opportunities. Early intervention can also help to prevent criminal behaviour (especially violent behaviour), drug and alcohol misuse and teenage pregnancy.

18. As CI2EYE express in their mission, “Christians are in a unique position to offer a quality of care for young children which is of the highest standard...because we can demonstrate the love of God in action.”

19. The early years are far and away the greatest period of growth in the human brain. It has been estimated that the connections or synapses in a baby’s brain grow 20-fold, from having perhaps 10 trillion at birth to 200 trillion at age 3. For a baby, this is an explosive process of learning from the environment. The early years are a very sensitive period when it is much easier to help the developing social and emotional structure of the infant brain, and after which the basic architecture is formed for life. However, it is not impossible for the brain to develop later, but it becomes significantly harder, particularly in terms of emotional capabilities, which are largely set in the first 18 months of life. It is parents and carers who are the key agents to provide what makes a healthy child between the ages of 0 and 3. Toddler groups, and the church through them, support parents in these critical years. (The Foundation Years)

Develop community cohesion

20. They promote community cohesion in the form of a wholesome social group.

21. They are a good antidote to boredom at home, for both parent and child! New friends and activities will keep the toddler stimulated and parent peaceable.

22. Toddler groups provide an excellent outlet for fathers, who are documented as expressing enjoyment of the groups’ activities.

23. They perform an ecumenical role, contributing to both faith and secular community development and cohesion.

Rectify a gap in church contact

24. They address the gap in church-child communication between Baptism and primary school.

25. Toddler groups may decrease teenage drop out syndrome. If they understand from an early age the magnificence of faith, they will not cease attending mass at the first opportunity to do so.  

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Survey Results

Take the Catholic Toddler Group survey: Click here!

From January to May of 2011, Catholic toddler groups across England were contacted via internet survey, email, phone interview, and personal visit in order to gather information about how they presently function for the purpose of sharing and affirming the good practice that already exists. This report will discuss some aspects of that good practice, highlighting success stories and suggesting areas for improvement. (Toddler groups were identified through diocesan marriage and family life ministry coordinators.)

      It may be beneficial to first describe the typical format of a church-based toddler group. Usually run by one or two lead volunteers, the groups meet once or twice a week for approximately two hours on church premises, be that the actual church or adjacent hall. Attending parents are charged a pound, and for that donation receive coffee, tea, and juice and healthy snacks for their children. While each group follows a unique order, the sessions typically include several periods of structured play, story, and song. Activities vary according to the gathering’s individual character, but play dough, blocks, trains, large toys, puzzles, colouring, and story books and are usually available. In addition to free play, the leader gathers everyone for story time and closing song. Faith, though evident in every gathering through the leaders’ attitudes and the actual building, is more or less prevalent again depending on the group’s preferences. Biblical stories, children’s church songs, and closing prayer seem a welcome mode of including religion. In addition to these routine activities, groups often hold special events throughout the year such as mothers’ retreats, holiday pageants, fathers’ afternoons, and guest presentations.

      Toddler group leaders and attendees alike rave about the groups’ benefits. They unite the community, promote the faith, and encourage healthy development in toddlers. One survey respondent wrote, “Over Christmas, we handed out some evaluation forms. The response was heart-warming as many parents saw the group as the best event of the week” Parents experiencing a lonely period in raising their young ones are provided the opportunity to make new friends in similar circumstances. Neighbours who otherwise would lead individual lives make connections through the group, meeting outside for play dates and forming lasting friendships. Many who attended when their children were small return as volunteers. All contribute a unique gift such as gardening skills, artistic abilities, child-rearing experience, or a particularly strong faith life. Toddler groups serve as an ecumenical and evangelical tool, uniting leaders across denominations and providing a friendly church-centred environment as they do. This welcoming atmosphere fights misperceptions of exclusivity, and revitalizes the parish from within. Group leaders publicize other parish events that may interest attendees, and in this way expand parish involvement. Non-Catholic parents frequently get involved, then occasionally join the church. For the children, the groups address a gap in church contact between baptism and primary school, providing a casual environment to continue faith education. They also ease the transition into primary school through a network of friends and experience with a structured environment. Finally, toddler groups allow for free and informal parental counselling. Younger mothers seek the advice of older, and experienced leaders serve as another resource for good parenting practice.

      On top of addressing parental and child needs, toddler groups fulfil a greater role in society. Leftover fees are frequently donated to charities, and occasionally groups hold fundraisers for a cause. One group, for example, contributes to the Good Life Orphanage in Kenya and the Bury Cancer Support and Bury Hospice. One donates all funds to a church renovation project. Another held a toddlerathon, raising £250 for Children in Need. A different group collected nearly new clothes for the Oasis Pregnancy Crisis Organisation. Daniel’s Den leader Joanna Gordon explained with a smile, “This is Big Society.”

      Areas for improvement identified by toddler group leaders include the following: more volunteers, greater parish involvement, and advice on incorporating the faith. The bulk of responsibility usually falls squarely on one or two mothers. They manage advertising, set up, clean up, and direct the group. Leaders were nearly unanimous in expressing desire for greater volunteer involvement. Additionally, leaders often desire more recognition and support from the parish structure. Something as seemingly simple as the occasional pastoral visit means the world to them. In addition to boosting morale and the feeling of inclusivity, such visits break barriers between lay church goers and church leaders. Above all, leaders hoped the clergy would understand and support their groups. Parish involvement could also address the final need, that of including religion prominently but not oppressively. This need was manifest in multiple ways. Several leaders asked for advice on religious resources such as song and story books, a few requested help developing appropriate themes, and some desired direct advice on how to include prayer naturally.

      Toddler groups seem a monumental resource for parents and the community at large. The enquiry hopes to encourage more parents to found groups, and more churches to realize the vast opportunity they pose. 

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Useful links

A poster for the National Day of Prayer for Church-based Toddler Groups on June 5th 2011

www.everybodyswelcome.org.uk/family_groups.html
A variation on toddler groups, family groups aim to support the entire household.

www.pfgm.org/index.html
Another page on family groups. Be sure to check out the ‘Reflections’ link for uplifting stories!

http://povertyreview.independent.gov.uk/media/20254/poverty-report.pdf
Government document about the importance of early intervention. Chapter 3 has some particularly interesting statistics on factors affecting child development.

www.ci2eye.co.uk/
Christian Initiatives in Early Years Education is a “network linking Early Years practitioners in the UK and Ireland who are committed to Christian principles.”

www.careforthefamily.org.uk/
National charity that aspires to promote strong family life and to help those with family difficulties.

www.engagetoday.org.uk/playtime
The go-to site for toddler group advice, resources, stories, and more! Includes craft ideas, safety tips, suggestions for involving dads, and a discussion forum.

www.ptgroupstogether.org.uk/
Another good networking and resource site for toddler groups.

www.brentparentsandtoddlers.org/index.php
Great model for a toddler group page.

www.danielsden.org.uk/
Exemplary toddler group organization.

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Catholic Toddler Groups on Facebook

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Parish Practice article. 'Quality Time'.

This article was co-authored by Katie Petrik and Elizabeth Davies and featured in The Tablet on October 15th 2011. It is available here by kind permission of The Tablet. 

Quality Time

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